You may say I'm a dreamer but......

Oooops, it's been a week or two, eh? I can explain- really. In the past two weeks I have worked over 116 hours! May not seem that big of a deal, but add two hours of a commute every day to that all in a place I've only been for a month and a half and you would choose sleep over blogging, too! :)

However, I was finally able to relax again this weekend when i slept for most of it and didn't check my work email one time. Now I'm sitting here waiting on my sheets to come out of the washer and dryer- yes, mom, I washed my sheets!- and blogging while listening to Konstantine by Something Corporate. I've been obesessed with this song ever since I left-- guess it reminds me of being home and jamming in my car. Things are still the same here in Cali. I had a blast last weekend going out with my coworkers and then meeting up with some ppl from new years on that saturday. It was the funnest weekend I've had so far, but it just made me even more tired this past week which is why I decided this weekend was for nothing but relaxing and sleeping! -- Success!

The big project/event I've been working on is this week which I won't be at because it's over in Europe, but my boss will be there. So all I have to do now is wait to get feedback from it so we can perfect it for the next one we're doing, which I assume is in February or beginning of March. I really feel I've gotten great experience already at work! At first it kind of felt like I had no idea what I was doing, but now I see what my job is and I think I'm on my way to being really good at it. Not to mention it's the experience that I needed.

I'm looking very much forward to seeing more of the city and all that, but really I'm more excited for what comes after this. I know that sounds crazy to wish this experience away, but I don't really think I'm exactly wishing it away. I will enjoy it and everything, but I'm just anxious to see where my life is going. I guess that makes me not a dreamer or free spirit because I'm always planning and thinking for the future. Is it possible to worry about the future and enjoy what I'm doing at the moment, too? I feel like I can survive and even be content anywhere I go, but if I'm not around my loved ones it will never be as much fun as it could be. I know this is where you say, "Ashley, make other friends blah blah blah." I'm working on it, but I still feel like no one here will ever know me like my friends and family back home do. Maybe me not being that free spirited person is why I don't feel like I really belong here-- also maybe because I'm a Missouri girl who just moved across the country and is still in the transition stage.

I don't want this to sound like I'm not happy. Because truth be told, I can be happy anywhere. I'm just in one of those moods today where I wonder what I'm doing and where I'm going. This mood of mine could also be from the movie I just saw, "Crazy Heart." Very sad, but good movie. Made me miss live music since I haven't seen any since I've been here.

That's my next task- it's time I check out the music scene here in Berkeley and the city. who knows, maybe it'll make me feel like home again.

Miss you all very much. Love you. Talk soon. :)